It's About Time
A friend of a friend died two days ago. Just before he died he said "My mother is here now, I am no longer afraid". Then he took one more breath and died. His mother had died thirty years earlier.
There are similar stories everywhere. My grandfather sat up in bed and reached out with both hands and then laid down and died. He wife had been dead for many years but this is most likely who he was reaching for.
A young doctor in a cancer ward told me "If you had seen what I have seen than you know for sure there is something out there". She later committed suicide in her thirties.
I am older now and everything has changed. Everything. What I once chased and was in a hurry to get done has changed. Those are no longer important. What is important is completely different than it once was. I will backtrack and explain how I got to this almost nihilistic yet peaceful place. How I came from optimistic spiritual believe to no belief at all and gradually back to a little belief as things slowly reveal themselves.
I am older now. And things are different.